Consistently good enough
If you can string together a whole lot of good enough, you generally wind up with something great.
Recently, a blog I follow mentioned a concept called "consistently good enough", meaning to continuously perform well in what we do.
I particularly liked a quote in this blog post, originally from a life coach named Brad Stulberg, as below:
Anyone can burn bright for a few days, weeks, months, or maybe even a year. But burning bright over the long haul requires consistency. And trying to be great all the time usually leads to illness, injury, and burnout. It also creates a lot of tension and stress.
But if you can string together a whole lot of good enough, you generally wind up with something great.
I first heard about the idea of good enough from the mid-twentieth century psychologist DW Winnicot. Among other things, Winnicot was known for his concept of the “good enough parent.” The parent who tries to be perfect all of the time burns out (and sadly, they often harm their kids along the way). The parent who is neglectful or just wants to be average generally isn’t great either. But the parent who can be repeatedly good enough—their kids tend to be the most well-adjusted and their relationships the most enduring and best.“
“I was thrilled to see it validated by Stuart McMillan, arguably one of the best coaches alive across any discipline. He’s worked with over 35 Olympic medalists and countless world champions in sprint and power sports.
In a recent conversation (this is a must-listen podcast), Stu put it like this: human performance is super complex. Complex systems have all of these interacting parts. If you try to optimize them all, you end up with unintended consequences and a whole lot of stress. But if you can be a 7 or an 8 out of 10 across all of the parts, then the whole ends up being incredible.“
This blog deeply resonated with me. In both my work and personal life, there have been numerous instances where I've been extremely enthusiastic and dedicated, striving to perfect things, which in turn, provides me with a great sense of achievement. However, once these moments are over, I often find myself exhausted, requiring an extended break to recover. Moreover, there have been several instances where I've enthusiastically started a task, only to abandon it halfway.
Over time and through numerous experiences, I've come to understand a simple truth about myself: if I don't pour my heart into something, I tend to feel unfulfilled. However, I've also realized that pushing myself to the limit, when I'm only capable of giving 40-50%, is a fast track to burning out.
There are times when giving everything is necessary. But most of the time, doing a good job, while keeping myself healthy and happy, is what really matters in the long run.
A recent example of this understanding comes from the change in our parenting approach to our newborn baby.
Before our baby was born, my husband and I decided that we would gradually introduce our baby into our existing lives, instead of reshaping our entire lives around the baby.
But when our baby arrived, we struggled to follow this philosophy. Everything about the baby was new to us. The baby was so small, needed to be fed every couple of hours, and required constant attention. Both of us were always on the go, feeding, changing diapers, and comforting our baby. Even though we had learned a lot about how to take care of a baby, we were always on edge, quick to change diapers at the smallest sign of discomfort.
For the first week or two, we were on high alert. We were waking up in the middle of the night and still alert during the day, always learning more about baby care. Looking back, it was a mix of tension and excitement that kept us going.
However, when our baby entered a phase with a lot of crying and disrupted sleep, our physical and mental states couldn't keep up. We were exhausted. That's when we realized we couldn't keep going at this frantic pace. We needed to go back to our initial philosophy. We had to take care of our own well-being first. Only then could we keep a good mood, and with a good mood, we could take better care of our baby.
Next, we started to fit the baby's routine into our existing schedule, finding a balance between the two. For example, we started feeding the baby a bit more each time, extending the feeding times to once every four hours. This way, we were able to get more rest while still ensuring the baby's healthy growth. We also realized that diapers didn't need to be changed constantly and that changing them too often could even disturb the baby. As long as the baby was comfortable, we reduced the frequency of diaper changes.
We also adjusted our own routines. During the day, we took turns taking care of the baby. When one of us was playing with the baby, the other could take a break. At night, we alternated caring for the baby, so that each of us could get a full night's sleep.
So far, the baby is doing well, and we're managing pretty well too. But babies grow quickly, and there are big changes every day. Some days the baby eats and sleeps well, but other days the baby is fussy and has trouble sleeping. Now, we adjust our routines and parenting style based on the baby's condition. We try to find a balance in our lives, making every day as good as it can be.
By continuing in this way, we can maintain a good lifestyle and stick to our initial philosophy.
Another example is how I've changed my approach to taking part in drawing events.
Drawing has always been something I love to do, a way for me to relax after a busy day. When I have some free time, I like to try new styles and sometimes make short animations just for fun.
Over the past few years, I've been part of Inktober, a drawing event every October on social media. Each day of October has a different theme, and participants draw a picture every day based on the theme. I always try to complete all the themes because the more I draw, the better I get at it.
During the first two years, I pushed myself to make every picture perfect. I wanted to look at each theme from a different angle and try styles I had never tried before. The result was that although I spent two Octobers full of achievements, I felt tired. I didn't feel like drawing for a while.
Then, a couple of years ago, I started to try out simple animations. When October came around, I had a thought – what if I tried creating animations for the next 31 days?
This idea surprised me. The whole point was to make it easier to keep going, but would making animations be easier than drawing static pictures? Could I keep this up for 31 days?
To stop myself from spending too much time and energy on each picture like before, I set a rule for myself: each animation shouldn't take more than half an hour. It didn't have to be perfect, simple was good enough. The main goal was to relax and keep going without feeling too much pressure. To save time, I decided from the start to only draw in a style that was just outlined, cutting out time-consuming steps like coloring as much as possible.
Even with this 'half-hour rule', I still wanted my drawings to be creative and fit the theme. I didn't want to draw a suit when the keyword was "suit" – that's too plain. I wanted to make my drawings interesting by connecting ideas with the keywords. This way, I could find joy and motivation in drawing, and the 'half-hour rule' helped me keep going.
Over the 31 days, I kept going. Most of the animations were done within half an hour, and some of them were really clever. I was proud of the creative ideas and I felt really impressed with myself.
That October of drawing gave me a real sense of achievement and 31 small animations. In the days that followed, I still felt excited about drawing. The idea of "good enough, consistently" really brought me lots of surprises.
Finally, I want to mention the blog that inspired me to write this article because it's a great example of "good enough, consistently."
The blog is A Learning A Day (alearningaday.com), written by Rohan. Since May 12, 2008, he's been writing down his thoughts every day. Sometimes he writes about life, sometimes work, sometimes a long essay, sometimes just a few sentences. The blog is almost fifteen years old now, and a lot of what he writes still sticks with me.
I've been following this blog for many years. Rohan said that writing the blog changed him, and his dedication to growing personally has had a big influence on me. It's helped me form a habit of thinking and reflecting on my life and work.